cause the idea just entered my mind, and I didn't go out, but I was thinking about it, I thought about how wonderful it would be to hear my heels on the hard pavement, to feel a breeze whip my skirt around my legs. But for every reason I could think of for wanting to go out, there were two good reasons why I shouldn't take the chance. But that little flame in me was starting to grow and Loretta, or whatever I called myself in those days, would come to life and make that first trip outside sooner than she thought. Well, my "brother" didn't continue his trip the next day, but de- cided to stay in Reno for another day and see the sights. The sights, being the gambling tables. Later on that afternoon he bought me a feminine item that had never interested me before. After all, what use did an FP that stayed indoors all the time have for a purse. Of course if I went out, I'd need one. But I wasn't going out, no, not me. There were too many risks in it. Little did I know.

That night I got dressed again and the more I looked at my- self in the mirror, the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to, the more I must go outside. So I finally decided, after talk- ing myself out of it a dozen times, that yes, I was going out.

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For all of you that do go out this next part will probably Bound familiar. I must have lost and regained my nerve a hundred times before I finally got down to the street. First I'd turn out the lights, peek out the door and then real quietly step out, but before you could say boo, I was back inside again. "Maybe I better wait until another time" I thought. Then from somewhere inside of me I'd hear "Chicken". "Oh, I'll try it". Back to the door again, lights out, open the door, step outside, start to close the door, and then, "Oh goodness, I'll bet everyone in Reno sees me." Back inside again. "Maybe I'll just smoke a cigarette first, then I'll just go ahead and walk out like it was nothing at all." Well after a half of a pack I made it all the way out the door and half way down stairs. "But I need another smoke first". The next time I made it downstairs, but if Reno wasn't such a noisy town they would have heard my knees knocking 10 blocks away. Well, my first walk in life, that night, consisted of two blocks away and back. They were quiet blocks and I'll bet no one even saw me or knew I was put. But it was a new thrill, and the flame started to grow.

The next day my "brother" left for San Francisco. there he smiled to himself thinking about that walk.

All the way Short as it

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